What is a Church’s Secret Sister Program?
Our church recently had a February Secret Sister event and called it “Anonymisses,” which I thought was a really cool name! It was a lot of fun coming up with ideas of small gifts and cards to make and send to the Anonymiss I was assigned. I hope they do this again! We’ve been going to this church for a little over seven years and this is the first one I believe they’ve had since we’ve been there.
If you’ve ever been part of a women’s ministry at church, you might’ve heard of a Secret Sister program. It’s a fun, uplifting way to build friendships within your church family. Plus, it’s all about spreading kindness, encouragement, and little surprises along the way.
I encourage you to sign up the next time your church launches their Secret Sister event!
How Does a Secret Sister Program Work?
The basic idea is simple. Every woman who signs up gets secretly assigned to be another woman’s “sister.” The goal is to pray for her, encourage her, and occasionally surprise her with small gifts or notes.
Why is it secret? She has no idea who is sending these thoughtful things; she just knows that someone’s thinking about and praying for her. That’s part of the fun! In our women’s ministry event, each participant was given the option of either revealing who they were or keeping it a secret unless your “Anonymiss” asked.
Step One: Sign Up
The organizer of the event will probably hand out Secret Sister sign-up forms. Our organizer sent out email sign-ups with a secret sister questionnaire that included:
- Your name
- Your address (optional)
- Your email address (optional)
- Favorite color
- Favorite snacks
- Favorite drinks
- Favorite foods
This is very helpful, especially if like ours, it’s a large church. We had 84 women sign up and there may be even more the next time! Since we have four services between our two locations, there’s always a chance that you haven’t met everyone yet. I haven’t! Since I go to our Women’s Retreat every year, I have met many women I didn’t know before.
Step Two: Assign Names
After everyone signs up, each participant gets assigned to one Secret Sister to care for. I’m not sure how our organizers did this part; I was just a participant. We received our Anonymisses name and information in a “Top Secret” email along with instructions to “bless” and encourage our “sister” at least four times throughout February.
Step Three: Start Encouraging Your Secret Sister
Once you get your sister’s info, the fun begins! You can pray for her, send her notes, and leave little surprises. The goal isn’t fancy gifts (though small gifts are common). It’s really about showing God’s love through encouragement.
The organizer got permission to set up one area in one of the foyers where you could drop off your Anonymisses gift for her to pick up. We just had to email the organizer that there was a gift there for her to pick up, and the organizer would email your Anonymiss to let her know, obviously without disclosing your name.
Since my secret sister disclosed her mailing address, I decided to mail her gifts to her just in case either of us didn’t make it to church; I knew she’d still get her items.
With one of the gifts I made her, I didn’t trust the postal system to deliver it without getting crushed, so I did put it in gift bag and left it at church.
How to Bless Your Secret Sister
We were given general ideas like notes, cards, treats, and small gifts. My assigned Anonymiss has a Facebook profile so I “stalked” it a few times during the month. I was able to learn more about her and tailor the little gifts to her likes.
TIP: If your secret sister has a social media presence, take time to learn a bit about her like her favorite Bible verses, things she likes to do, hobby interests, etc.
For example, I learned she loves reading books, so one of the gifts I made to send her was a custom gift box/card that resembled a book. Inside I made and added some bookmarks.
For Valentine’s Day, I sent her a few heart-shaped stickers with Bible quotes related to loving one another.
One of the fun things I made her was a custom jigsaw puzzle (120 pieces) and I made a custom gift box for it. I also added a card with a message and Bible verse.
I learned she and her family raise chickens. Since I’d already made “soap sacks” for our church’s crafting group, I sent these to her and suggested she could replace the Dove soap with anything she wants and use it for whatever purpose she needed… like cleaning chickens!
Each small gift included a card or notecard with a Bible verse and a message about how this gift related to that verse.
Gift Ideas for Your Secret Sister
Not sure what to give your Secret Sister? Don’t worry, you don’t need to spend much money. Most Secret Sister programs focus more on thoughtfulness than cost. Here are some easy, budget-friendly ideas. And if you’re a crafter, you can handmake custom little gifts and cards. This way, you’re putting some of your own time, care, and thoughtfulness into each one:
- Encouraging Notes
Sometimes, the best gift is just a handwritten note. Share a Bible verse, a prayer, or a word of encouragement. Simple, but meaningful. I’m a crafter, own a solid printer, and a Cricut machine. Since my handwriting is horrendous, my printer and Cricut do the writing for me.
This is a custom side-edge card I made with my Cricut! Since I was sending her the soap sacks, I thought bubbles added a fun touch!
- Favorite Snacks
If your sister’s sign-up form listed favorite treats, surprise her with something sweet. A candy bar, flavored tea, or bag of popcorn can make her day. I received a nice, large bag of dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses with a card and a candle from my Anonymiss. Another gift was a big box of assorted flavored decaf coffee pods and a coffee mug. I collect coffee mugs!
- Bible Verses
Print out a beautiful Bible verse card. You can even make your own! Add some colorful paper, stickers, or calligraphy if you’re feeling crafty. You can also make stickers and bookmarks with Bible verses on them.
- Small Gifts
A keychain, bookmark, or scented candle are all great options. These little gifts remind your sister that someone’s thinking of her.
- Prayer Cards
Create custom prayer cards with her name on them. Knowing someone’s praying for you is one of the most comforting feelings.
The Big Reveal – Who Was Your Secret Sister?
Our program stayed anonymous, unless you decided to tell your Anonymiss who you are. I haven’t told mine who I am, although I will if she asks the organizer to ask me to tell her.
Some of us just went on the Church Women’s private Facebook group and posted a thank you to whomever sent us gifts. She knows who she is!
Why Churches Love Secret Sister Programs
So why do so many women’s ministries host these programs? It’s more than just fun (though it definitely is!). Secret Sister programs help build connections, especially in larger churches where women may not know each other well.
We have about 700 church partners (i.e., members) and nearly 1,000 regular attendees between the four services.
As I mentioned, we’ve been going to our church for over seven years and I still don’t know everyone’s names, even if I recognize their faces or chat with them from time to time. The program also…
- Encourages Prayer and Thoughtfulness
When you’re assigned a Secret Sister, you’re encouraged to pray for her regularly. This creates a beautiful habit of intercessory prayer. You’re not just thinking about yourself—you’re lifting up someone else’s needs.
- Builds Friendships
It’s easy to stick to your usual circle at church. But a Secret Sister program helps you connect with someone new. Sometimes, these matches lead to lifelong friendships, even after the program ends.
- Adds Surprise and Joy
Who doesn’t love finding a surprise note or gift in their mailbox or church area? These little gestures go a long way in brightening someone’s day. Plus, it’s just plain fun!
Finally…
This is absolutely a fun program that I’d encourage any woman in your home church to get involved in.
At its core, a Secret Sister program is all about the power of encouragement. Life gets busy, and sometimes we forget to pause and uplift each other. Programs like this help us step back and show love in simple, creative ways.
Whether it’s through a kind word, a small gift, or a heartfelt prayer, these little acts of kindness make a big impact. They remind us we’re not walking this faith journey alone.
So, if your church doesn’t have a Secret Sister program yet, maybe it’s time to start one! It’s a fun, meaningful way to build community and spread God’s love.
